They’re rarely satisfied and always looking for new limits to push, so PINO is about meeting those demands and adding a new adventurism to their sex lives.” Steve Thomson, LELO’s head of marketing said, “PINO is the ultimate stimulus package, the most exclusive couples ring in the world and is aimed at the Wolves of Wall Street and Gordon Gekkos of our communities. I’m sure you’re having a visceral reaction to me merely stating these objective facts, but allow me to make it a lot worse by quoting the press release and embedding the accompanying promotional video.Īccording to the company, the PINO “ is the first pleasure object ever created to satisfy the hedonistic sexual cravings and excesses exhibited by members of the financial world, with LELO’s promotional video a testament to the role PINO will play in bankers’ lives.” That is a cock ring with a pinstripe-lined box, LELO-branded cufflinks, and a money clip engraved with the phrase “Always Be Closing.” Its tagline is indeed Exclusively for Bankers. This year, we were blessed with Ora, an “oral sex” simulator, which was a waste of my clit’s time. 2013 brought us Ida, easily the most functionally deficient LELO toy I’ve ever tried (that’s putting it mildly), and the useless Hula Beads. It began in 2011 with Lyla, a remote-controlled egg that only responded when I pointed the remote directly at my vulva. The Smart Wands, in 2012, included “technology” which caused them to fail at inopportune moments. We need to talk about what’s happening with LELO.įor about three years, they’ve mostly been releasing convoluted, overpriced, “ innovative” pieces of shit topped off with pretentious marketing.
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